The Real Costs

While my gig as a gentleman host sounds inexpensive - travel free in exchange for (basically) dancing with ladies traveling alone - there are some very real out-of-pocket costs. First, there was the fee from Stacy's organization for my background check, lunch with Joe on my initial interview (well, I ate, too) and a charge from Grazina for my dance audition. In addition, Stacy's main income is a fee charged to hosts at a daily rate: the longer the cruise, the higher the fee. Then, one has to get to the point of embarkation - in my case, flights donated by my friend with frequent flyer miles but without, even with a marine rate, the cost could be substantial - Cape Town is very far away - and return home after debarkation. Fortunately, Jet Blue from Lauderdale to Baltimore is not so expensive. The excess baggage I'm sure to have may cost more than my seat. Travel in Brazil requires a visa - Lula is getting even with the US for our requiring visas from Brazilians - and I had no idea how expensive that could be. As always when I go abroad, I visited the Hopkins travel clinic for necessary shots; the basic examination, a yellow fever booster and a new international innoculation card were not inexpensive. Stacy pointed out that my flight from London to Cape Town would arrive in time - early in the morning - for me to see some of the city before reporting to the ship at noon. Well, not much. And besides, I'll surely need some time to adjust. So, I arranged to arrive in Cape Town on a Thursday morning and have the day and one more in which to recover and reset my mental time clock before joining the ship on Saturday. So, two nights in a hotel. My travel agent said it was not a good idea - or in other words, not so safe - to take a taxi in Cape Town from the airport to the hotel and so urged me to have a driver meet me. Regent would not let me join them until they had proof of my travel insurance and at my age, the price was hefty. I decided I had to bone up on my rumba and cha cha and so had five dance lessons with Grazina (subject of another post). And then, there were the clothes. As I've said, my tuxedo and all my suits and coats and trousers had (surprisingly) shrunk. At first I thought I had plenty of time to lose the weight necessary to get back into them but as the months went by and my weight didn't change, I was forced to face the reality that I had to buy some new clothes. I bought a tuxedo at a surprisingly low (and welcome) cost on overstock.com but it required some alterations that added to its price. I found one suit in my closet that I could still comfortably wear but my blue blazer was too tight for dancing. Even with several sales at Jos. A. Bank and two trips to the outlets in Queenstown (and my weakness for shirts and my penchant for quality), my Visa card got a hefty workout. But since I can wear the clothes for anything, I can't really call their purchase a trip expense even though without the cruise I probably wouldn't have bought them. I also decided that if I was going to have to recognize ladies across the room or on a shore excursion, it was a good time to have my glasses prescription filled and to get some new contact lenses. And then, of course, there are the ugly Crocs, the black ones without the holes. I haven't totalled this expense and don't intend to, but as you can see, traveling with Phil is more than a notion. It's not so cheap to be a gigolo!